WHAT CLASSES CAN DO TO YOU

This!” says Rashid, rolling a joint with furious speed, “it’s my third today,” he clarifies. I look around perplexed, his public display of weed is giving me slight shivers and I don’t want to be rounded up by men in khaki, jus waiting to shove their sticks……………..anywhere.I leave Rashid in his artificial bliss. Though he still maintains it’s completely natural. I return to my television deprived home. An aspect which serves as a constant reminder to me of my classes. It was a beautiful day I remember vividly. I was watching some random movie on the television, and in came the beauty responsible for giving birth to me with a single sheet of paper in her lovely hand, she then flung the:1) Sheet of paper at me2) Television on the floor.Then left with the same haste that she had entered with.My jaw dropped so low, I had a hairline fracture (exaggeration). I looked at the smooth, shiny piece of paper mamma dearest had flung at me. Damn! No wonder she was behaving weird, it was my report card from my classes. Looking at it I myself was aghast, wtf!!! I can’t possibly get 33%, I am not sooooo dumb at least. Then it hit me (this time on the ribs); these champions had counted tests I was absent for as 0/40(and not clarified it anywhere), I mean, not that being absent is a good thing, but going to class seven days a week after getting up at 5 a.m., and what do u get in return for it?? An enclosed class (which would have qualified as a gas chamber by the U.N), and a wise old moron trying 2 shove something into your brain with large mouthfuls of bad breath. To add to that there is occasional volley of insults aimed at you from the wise old bugger. All in all my point is, IT IS DIFFICULT NOT TO FALL SICK (at least mentally).I did try to explain the little fact that classes don’t know the difference between ‘0’ and ‘absent’ but it was to late. I prayed that every shard of my broken television must poke the ass responsible for my report card; even better would be if it went through and through.Home, was not something destined for me soon; I bumped into Jiah, my ex-girlfriend. She said during the course of our discussion that she was still single, I asked her why and she replied, “All the guys I know and meet go t some or the other class, and I don’t want to have a break-up again for the same reason.” That was a stab, a real deep one. I went red with embarrassment. How on earth can I ever forget what classes did to my love-life? With all the waking up early, homework, travelling and overall stress they caused, (making me turn to fags was another cause) in the end it I just couldn’t ‘get one hard enough’!! “You can keep that sponge of yours,” Jiah had said before walking away. And I just couldn’t stop her, because I had my chemistry book in one hand, yes you guessed right, the pressure from classes made you study even while making love. But damn, why dint I drop that stupid book?? I would have been able to button up my jeans faster; and more importantly stop Jiah!! Some piece of garbage called Jiah and she walked away. I wondered now that I am out of classes why not ask her out again? Oh yes!! I will be visiting the chemist soon.